is it wrong? yes. do i advocate it? yes.
i disagree with the mutilation of a persons body as punishment for a crime. however, in this particular instance, i’ll have to side with my biased opinion.
there are programs in effect that are intended to protect children by informing parents of registered sex offenders in any area they choose to inquiry. however, this does not stop the actual crime, it just helps to avoid it.
i’ll have to look in to this more… i just wanted to get that thought collected and logged.
the idea was good… the recipe seemed right. but i flubbed them up :( they came out more like oatmeal coconut crispies. very thin and flat. this is definitely a recipe i’d like to perfect. any suggestions?
1/2 cup shortening
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon almond extract
1/2 cup butter
2 cups flour
1 cup coconut
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups rolled oats
cream shortening, butter & sugars. add eggs and almond.
seperate bowl: combine dry w/o coconut until blended. add coconut.
combine wet and dry mixtures until moist.
bake 10 minutes or until golden.
i’m on a leave of absence from school. unfortunately, i was unable to find a job that would work around my school schedule and i have to work. LOA gives me a month to get my shit together and figure out a solution to my problem.
i’m supposed to be getting ready to go to fountain valley right now. but i am unmotivated and apprehensive. for whatever reason, i feel like allison (my uncle kevin’s wife,) does not like me. i try not to do the whole “woe is me,” thing but it’s been a very long time since i’ve felt like an outcast.
i’ll be seeing kristin, ricky, faith and jordan this weekend. cousins that i have not seen in a while or only saw very briefly last time. i know jordan is cool but i don’t know anybody else, really.
the good news is; heather will also be there! yay! i’ve missed her a lot.
well, i guess i should get my fat ass up and do what i’m supposed to.
probably one of the most fascinating aspects of myself (or at least as far as i am concerned,) is how often i don’t realize how incredibly dumb i am. i make mistakes that most people would have seen coming a mile away. and even after they say “i told you so,” i continue to defend myself as if i were right and some other force caused it all to go wrong. i think it might be the fact that i think too deeply about things - that i dig so deeply that i am unable to see the whole picture. taking things apart has always been my nature. the problem is - i don’t know how to put them back together once they’re apart. this is all terribly abstract so let me elaborate:
several people pointed out that moving to california would, in the end, be another mistake. that coming here for phillip would only add to my list of things i’ve done wrong in my life. and yet, i refused their logic and instead fed myself my own. horribly enough, i knew all along. if i would have just looked at the big picture, i would have seen it.
but then i do this to myself: what in life is worth anything that is easy to obtain? do we not all have to work hard for most things that we value? why would a relationship be any different?
and so i am back at square one.
school seems to be going well enough. i’ve done two haircuts in the last two days, both of which (of course,) needed to be mildly corrected by my instructor. but so far, i haven’t made anyone cry and no one has punched me for fucking up their hair. i don’t have the confidence i should, my hands shake a little bit and everyone says i look scared when i have someone in my chair. hopefully, with time, i will overcome my fears and be a little more confident.
i had an interview at home depot, i was sent a rejection letter in the mail telling me they didn’t want to hire me. but this morning i got a phone call from home depot asking me to come in for an interview on the sixth or march. haha.. i don’t know what is going on but i need a job and i will be going. i’m tired of looking for work; it seems i have exhausted most of the businesses around here.. i’m going to have start driving down the hill, about 45 minutes away. this is a very frustrating ordeal for me and it has caused considerable strain on phill and i’s relationship.
he is ready to end things. per an email, he said:
…Its not that im mad, or saying fuck you, But I have come to the realization that this relationship is not going to work.
well, for once in my life i am taking the steps necessary to secure a future for myself. he does not see it that way:
Its not becasue I dont love you, But I think that you need to really figure out what you want in life, and figure out what you have to do get it.
i don’t know how he sees things this way, but who am i to tell mr. $45-an-hour that i am making progress? i’m baffled but what can i do? i have attempted several times to enroll in school, each thwarted for one reason or another. this time i will not be giving up. i don’t care if i have to pay him rent, i am not leaving until i finish school next march. i am tired of giving up on myself.
